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Do dogs go to heaven?

slave: This question is from Eric.

Master: Eric who?

slave: The only Eric you know who would send in a question.

Master: Oh, so what does Gene want this time?

slave: I am going to remind you that Gene prefers to be called Eric, and his question reads: "Do dogs go to heaven?"

Master: This is a very difficult question for me to answer, because I don't know what mogs are. Are mogs members of some particular ethnic group? Do they have another name that I might know?

slave: Yes, mogs have another name that you might know and that name is DOGS as in woof woof. I did not say mogs, I said dogs. 

Master: Ok in that case, his question will be very easy to answer. 

Gene, to answer your question, NO, dogs do not go to heaven. And I am saying this even though I know that dogs have a soul. I am saying this while fully aware that dogs are sentient, conscious beings. The reason that dogs do not go to heaven is because heaven is not a geographic location, so there is no possibility of a dog travelling to the location of heaven. So "going there", is out of the question. 

I am going to repeat myself, heaven is not a location, so "going there" is not a possibility for anyone. Going to heaven is not a possibility for dog-kind nor is going to heaven a possibility for human-kind. Oh, and this applies to all dogs, by the way, whether they be dead or alive. Just as it applies to all humans whether they be dead or alive.

slave: I wonder how deeply, Eric will regret sending in a question?

Master: In an attempt to be even more annoying, I am going to illustrate my answer with the help of the following eight exercises. For the first exercise I would like you to please go to 10 years in the future, experience it for 4 minutes and then return to now so that you may report back to me. 

slave: Your attempt at being even more annoying is successful.

Master: For the second exercise, please spend some time somewhere where you are not.

slave: That makes no sense.

Master: YES! That is my point exactly. Trying to be somewhere where you are not, makes no sense! But Gene, please do not let that stop you from attempting the second exercise. For the second exercise please spend some time where you are not, and then take a moment to explore your surroundings. Once you have done that, ask yourself the question: "Am I currently at a place I would describe as somewhere I am not, or am I actually still at the place which would best be described as  "here and now"?  

And once you do that, Gene, let me know how you got on with your attempt to escape the "here and now".

slave: Gene can't hear you. Damnit! now you have me doing it! Eric can't hear you right now. This is not a phone, he can't respond. He won't even know what you are saying until I post this in a few days.

Master: Yes slave, I understand that, but Gene will eventually view this video and I am asking him to reflect on his experience.

slave: And for Pete's sake, his name is Eric. Gene now goes by the name of Eric.

Master: I will now do the two aforementioned exercises myself. I will start with the one in which a person travels to the future. Hmm, Ok. Let's see. I am asking myself "Am I experiencing the future? Have I traveled to the future?" My answer is "Nope, I am NOT currently in the future, I am in the present moment".  

Ok. that was pretty simple. 

slave: Why is having you in the present moment so annoying? You were less annoying when you were in the future.

Master: Now I will try the next one: "Am I experiencing being over there?" My personal answer is: "Nope, I am not currently over there". And now I will try a variation of that exercise. "Am I experiencing being here?" My answer is: "Yes, such as it is". 

Now Gene, I don't mean to be insulting your intelligence with these exercises; I ask you to try them because they serve a purpose. These exercises remind us that the only place we exist in is "here and now". 

 And since the only place we can ever experience is "here and now", that means that If we are to experience heaven, our only opportunity to experience heaven is "here and now". And dogs are the same, they too are only able to experience "here and now"

slave: I was happier back in the past, when I was somewhere else.

Master: Now listen carefully, Gene, I am not saying that it is impossible for a dog person or a human person to experience heaven. What I am saying is that the only option a dog person or human person has for experiencing heaven is right here, and the only time they can experience heaven is right now.  So again, a dog person or a human person cannot "go to heaven", but that does not mean that they can't experience heaven. Remember that, because you will use that information later on.

slave: Do you want me to record that last bit for Eric, so that he has access to it later on?

Master: Why just the last bit? I thought you were recording all of this.

slave: Oh, you actually want me to record all of this?

Master: So Gene, If you sincerely tried the exercises, you might have noticed that your experience of the "here and now",  included TRYING to be over there, as well as TRYING to be in the future. I gotta say that again. Do you mind if I repeat myself?

slave: Are you asking me? Because I mind a lot.

Master:  Gene, while you were actually in the "here and now", your experience of the "here and now", might have included TRYING to be somewhere else. Your experience of the "here and now" might have included HOPING or WANTING or even PRETENDING to be somewhere else. The trying was happening while you were in the "here and now". The act of trying was part of your "here and now" experience. I want you to also remember this bit of information, because we are also going to make use of it later on. 

slave: Why are you giving me that look? 

Master:  I was looking at your hair line, and what I saw made me wonder if it were possible for me to talk to Gene about heaven without also talking about hell?  And yes, as a matter of fact, it is. But I am not going to let that stop me. Gene, hell is not a location. 

slave: Did you actually just say that my hair line reminds you of hell? Did you actually just say that?

Master: Interestingly, the dog person or human person who is most likely to regularly experience hell is also the dog person or human person who's experience of "here and now" includes a lot of trying to be somewhere else.

Conversely, the dog or human person who is most likely to experience heaven on a regular basis is the dog person or human person who is really happy and content to be "here and now". The dog person most likely to experience heaven in the present moment is the dog person who is totally present at "here and now"

One of the many ways in which dog persons and human persons create hell for themselves is by constantly TRYING or PRETENDING or even HOPING to be somewhere other than where they are. The trying is born out of a desire. When someone's mind is always hoping or longing to be somewhere other than where they are... they are cultivating many of the ingredients necessary for the experience of hell in the present moment.

And that kind of makes sense to me.The frustration of the endless effort wasted in spending one's whole life doing something which is impossible as well as incredibly stupid is likely to make any person miserable.

When a dog is longing for someone or for some place, that dog is likely to be experiencing hell. And conversely, IF at any given moment, that same dog person is with the being that the dog person wants to be with and IF that dog person is certain that the being in question is happy and safe, well then that particular dog person is much more likely to be experiencing heaven than hell. Oh, and remember, that science tells us that dog persons are emotional, sentient, and conscious creatures who experience feelings. I would think that that scientific information would  be very relevant to you, Gene, because you too are an emotional, sentient, and conscious being. 

slave: And so is Eric

Master: When a dog's thoughts are in the same place as their body, then that dog is much more likely to be experiencing heaven. But when a dog's mind is in one place while their body is in another, then that dog is much more likely to be experiencing hell. 

slave: I am pretty sure you said that already.

Master: So yeah, a dog can experience heaven and a dog can experience hell, but neither heaven nor hell is a location they can travel to. Both heaven and hell are experienced in the place that the dog person would call "here and now". So a dog person can't go to heaven, but a dog person can certainly experience heaven. Got it? Did you put all the pieces together?

slave: Beloved Master, may I say something?

Master: Uh oh, it is never good when you refer to me as Beloved Master. And it usually means double trouble when you ask permission to comment. But go ahead.

slave: I got really bored and stopped listening. Can you summarize the highlights for Eric and I?

Master:  I shall even number the concepts for you both, although I do not pretend that I will order the concepts in a logical fashion. 1. All dog persons are conscious beings, just like some human people are conscious beings. 2. Heaven is not a place but is a state of being. 3. The majority of dogs or human people are not capable of time travel nor of existing at two locations simultaneously. 4. Thus, If dog persons or human people are going to experience heaven then they must do it in the present moment and in their present location. 5. For over a year now, I have been gently reminding you to repair the wall of the shower, but as far as I can discern, you have done nothing. And finally 6. Gene, if your intention was to ask me what happens to a dog's soul once the dog's brain and body has died, then you did a shit job of forming your question. 

slave: Thank you Master. Your excellent summation has led me to another question. May I ask you now?

Master: Probably not. Things never go well for me when you use the phrase 'thank you Master". Whatever is coming, I know that in no way am I prepared to meet it. Go ahead slave, ask your question.

slave: Thank you Master. My question is: why did you torture us with the tedium of your endless response when you were able to sum it up in a few short sentences? 

Master:  That was an excellent question, my beloved slave, and I shall answer it for you when you have finished repairing the wall of the shower stall.

slave: Thank you dear beloved Master. 

Master: You are welcome, slave.

slave: Oh, and Master?

Master: Yes slave? 

slave: I am very sorry. It seems that I have made a significant mistake. I did that thing of seeing what I wanted to see instead of seeing what was actually on the computer screen in front of me. Eric actually did write, "Do MOGS go to heaven."

Master: I had suspected as much this whole time. But being the good-natured fellow that I am, I didn't want to say anything. You know, just in case Gene really did inquire about mogs and heaven. Anyway. Gene, my  answer is "yes, of course mogs go to heaven". Oh and Gene, I am a little surprised that you of all people would ask such a stupid question, since everyone knows that mogs go to heaven. 

slave: But Master, I am confused, I distinctly recall your statement that the question was difficult to answer, you also claimed to not even know what mogs are!

Master: Yeah, I was just messin with you both. I found it hilariously funny to pretend that a Master of my brilliance might not know what a mog is.

What happens to a dog's soul after it dies?

slave: Eric has written to you with an additional question.

Master: Is this another one of his questions about anal sex?

slave: Not exactly, it is a follow up to his dog question.

Master: Oh

slave: should I read his question to you?

Master: Yes please.

slave: Eric wrote "what happens to a dog's soul and consciousness, once the dog in question has died?"

Master: Are you going to set a timer for two minutes?

slave: I already started the timer. Master. Oh. When did you start it?

slave: I set the timer as soon as I started reading the question. And please try to remember that Gene now goes by the name of Eric.

Master: Um ok... did you leave the lentils cooking on the stove? Or did you remember to turn off the element below the pot?

slave: I turned it off, but I left the lid on the pot.

Master: In that case, I will tell Gene that it depends on the dog.

slave: The name is Eric, not Gene. Please try to maintain some awareness, for a change.

Master: Some dogs are immediately reincarnated, some dogs dissolve into existence the moment they die, some dogs join the soul of a living being that they loved, some dogs wait a long time to be reincarnated, some dogs just hang out as an out of body spirit keeping an eye on everybody and so on. By the way, it is the same with human people. Yep, I think that pretty much sums it up.

slave: you still have some time left.

Master: What you have said, about having some time left, inspires me to share a story with both you and Gene. And when I say share a story, what I really mean is that I am going tell you about an experience that I had.

slave: Gene prefers the alias Eric, please make an effort to remember that.

Master: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. Gene does not want people to know his name is Gene, so he tells people his name is Eric. Yes, I can respect that, if my name were Eric I would change it too.

slave: Why do I even bother?

Master: (chuckles silently to self) Are those buttons on your shirt?

slave: Yes

Master: There are so many buttons to push in this world, how will I ever find the time to push all of them?

slave: I see what you did there.

Master: I am going to tell you about something that I saw about 27 years, 4 months, and six days ago - give or take a few years. But before I tell you what I saw, I had better set the scene: I was renting half of a bungalow in Koregaon Park, Pune, Maharashtra, India. My half of the bungalow included a screened in porch which overlooked the road. I really liked sitting in that porch, it had very comfortable wicker chairs. In fact, the chairs and the porch were so very lovely and comfortable, that I sat there each morning as I ate my breakfast. I also sat there again every evening before I went to bed. As I have already mentioned, the porch over looked the road ... and now that I have set the scene, I will tell you what I saw: sitting in that porch one night, I watched a very big and very expensive brand new European car drive at high speed into a group of Dalits who were walking along the edge of the road. Everyone managed to jump out of the way of the speeding car, except for one man who was on his bicycle. The car struck the bicycle man hard. The bicycle man was thrown quite a few meters before he landed on the road.

A moment after bicycle man landed I saw a flash of light emanate from his body. The bicycle man had died. The flash of light that I had seen was his consciousness and or soul leaving his body. I witnessed that moment. And what a huge moment that was to witness. (pause)Of course there is more to the story. The rest of the story mostly involves the driver of the car.

I can still picture the driver of the car very clearly. He was just a little bit chubby, he was clean shaven, which made him appear a bit boyish, although I suspect he was actually in his late 30s. He was wearing a beautiful indigo shirt. Anyway he was obviously a very rich Indian to be driving such a huge and expensive European car. Um, let me explain the significance of the brand new full size European luxury car; you see, this was long before cars were such a common sight in Pune. Back in those days I would typically only see one or two taxis a day. Back in those days I only saw a private car about once every few weeks! Back in those days, it was only the absolute richest of Indians who could afford a brand new full size European luxury car. Ok, ok, back to my very clear memory of the driver and his actions.

So once the chubby Indian guy kills the Dalit on the the bicycle, he immediately tries to drive off but the bicycle is kind of wedged under the front of his car. He tries three times to go forward but the bike just gets more wedged with each attempt. While the driver is trying to go forward two of the Dalits push a great big cart with bricks behind the car and overturn the cart, dumping most of the bricks. Now the driver cannot get his car to go forward nor can he get it to go backward. This is when the driver gets out of the car and does some of the most inspired, yet overly dramatic acting that I have seen. At first he tries a lot of yelling in Hindi, but this gets no response from the crowd. Then he tries yelling in English which also gets no response from the crowd. BUT it was helpful for me because I was then sure of what he was saying to the crowd. He yelled something like "the man is very badly injured and needs to be taken to a hospital right away!" Like I said, this was all acting because it must have been as obvious to the driver as it was to me that the bicycle guy was dead. Anyway, as I mentioned, neither his Hindi nor English gets a response from the crowd. Then he tries a language I didn't recognize the sound of, so I am fairly certain it was not Marathi. But whatever language it was, the crowd understood it and his words convinced a couple of men from the crowd to pull the bicycle out from under the car. Another two men loaded the dead body into the car and away sped the driver.

So yeah,that flash of light, the one that emanated from the bicycle man's body at the moment of death, that was pretty interesting to see, alright. And so was what happened next. Anywhere from 2 to 10 minutes after the rich Indian man sped away, a huge lorry literally came flying out of the sky like an airplane! I kid you not. It was one of those massive Indian lorries, the type that has "horn OK please" painted on the back. The cargo of this lorry was men; yep, this massive lorry was full, I mean totally over flowing with men. And these men, the men who were in the cargo area of the flying lorry, well, these men had an array of expressions on their faces that were... um, I'll just say that they looked fairly angry. Anyway, this flying lorry kept swooping back and forth over the general area where the bicycle man had died.

At the time, I surmised that the angry men in the flying lorry were looking for the soul or consciousness of the man who had died. And judging from the way that they kept swooping over the site of his death I had assumed that they were not able to find him.

Now that I am enlightened, I can tell you that I was partly wrong about what I saw. Now from the perspective of being a fully realized enlightened dude, I can look and see that the angry men of the flying lorry were not looking for the bicycle man, but rather they were looking for the rich Indian man who got his thrills by purposely speeding into crowds of poor Indians.That is what I know, however I don't know if they ever found the slightly chubby rich Indian driver. And if they did find him, I don't know what happened next.

Oh, and when I tell you that I saw a huge lorry full of men descend from the sky and circled like a giant hawk, I mean this literally. I actually saw it. I am also aware that it is most probable that I was the only living person on that street at that time who could see it.

Ok. How long did that take?

slave: I don't know, I turned the timer off as soon as you said that you were going to talk about the good old days. I didn't want to waste my cell phone battery.

What is compassion?

slave: No My Cherubic Master, I didn't call you a fatso. What I said was, "you are fat for a gay man" which happens to be the same as "you are thin for a straight man". And besides, this is just an observation, I am not making any judgement about your lack of visible abdominal muscles.

Master: Thank you for your clarification, slave.

slave: No problem Santa.

Master: So, slave, do we have a question to answer?

slave: No Master, we don't. But you do.

Master: And? ...

slave: And what?

Master: And what is the question and who is it from?

slave: Mary Lou Smith sent you a card with a very beautiful hand painted watercolour illustration on it.

Master: Are you sure that it is hand painted?

slave: It looks hand painted, and also the artist's initials of MLS are painted in the corner of the card. I would show you the painting but it is on what I would guess to be a cold press paper with the weight of 638 grams per square meter.

Master: So why can't you show it to me?

slave: Why should I bother? A cold press paper is not a device where I can turn the brightness up for you.

Master: Hand me the card, please.

slave:You have no idea where your glasses are, do you?

Master: slave, what is this scribbling? Has Mary Lou written something on the card?

slave: Master, I am not sure. I am not very good with cursive but I will try to decipher it: "Please don't read my card or name out in a video. I don't want my husband or his family to know that I am writing to you, they are deeply religious people and hate everyone. They especially hate you. My question is, can you tell me what compassion is? Sincerely, Mary Lou Smith.

Master: My dear Mary Lou Smith, thank you for writing and thank you for your lovely watercolour painting of a smiling flower on 368 gsm card.

slave: Master, I just told you that it is a cold pressed paper with a weight of 638 grams per square meter, where did you get 368 gsm card from?

Master: Dear Mary Lou Smith, in order to illustrate for you what compassion is and what it looks like, I will first need to introduce you to our main character: a compassionate buddha. But before I introduce you to our main character, I would like to set the scene. If I am adequately able to set the scene, you will have a better understanding of the circumstances in which a person might encounter a compassionate buddha.

slave: Master, she just asked you not to identify her. She actually put that request in writing.

Master: OH! MY GOSH! What was I thinking?! Mary Lou, I have a much better idea! I am going to give you the Compassionate Buddha's back story: Picture for a moment an enlightened being who doesn't want anything from anyone. And no, I don't believe you when you say that you can really empathize with not wanting anything from anyone. Please Mary Lou Smith! Please try to take this seriously! I am not talking memes/selfies/talk-is-cheap kind of stuff here. Rather, I am talking about a profound and absolutely real experience of not wanting anything from anybody. For instance, unlike you Mary Lou, a compassionate buddha does not need people to like her, nor does a compassionate buddha need anyone to think any particular thing about her, nor does a compassionate buddha even crave respect, nor does a compassionate buddha get upset if her own parents pay more attention to her older sister, than to her...... actually, Mary Lou, let's cut to the chase; a compassionate buddha doesn't actually want anything at all.... And NO, I can see that you still don't get it. But that is ok. So long as you don't talk shit to me about things that know absolutely nothing about, we will continue to get along just fine. So like I said, Mary Lou, this compassionate buddha, she don't want for anything at all, and I really mean she don't want nothing from nobody.

slave: Master, I don't see any smile on the face of the flower she painted. I don't even see a face on the flower. As per usual, Master, I have no idea what you are talking about.

Master: Mary Lou, a compassionate buddha experiences absolute freedom from that old proverbial chestnut - do you know which chestnut I am talking about? You probably think that I am talking about the proverbial chestnut of being free from desire. Sure, sure, sure you say to yourself, a compassionate buddha is free from desire. But that is not the old chestnut that I am referring to. I am referring to the other old chestnut, you know, the magical old chestnut of fables: the chestnut of being free from the desire, to be free of desire.

slave: Oh THAT old proverbial chestnut. Behind your back, when you can't hear me, I refer to it as being free from the desire of becoming a boring fat old enlightened guru.

Master: Mary Lou, so here we are with our main character: an enlightened being with her corresponding perspective. A perspective, by the way, which is beyond the imagination of most people. And to be fair, even if a person thinks that they can imagine what freedom from desire is like they are probably wrong.

slave: Master, I am not following this, I am glad you never scripted any of the Star Trek episodes.

Master: Oh, but Mary Lou knows what I am talking about; don't you Mary Lou? She knows exactly what I am talking about.

slave: Are you sure, Master?.

Master: Mary Lou knows what it is like, and it goes like this: You imagine something that you are unfamiliar with, and you imagine it being one particular way but then one day, WHAMO! you actually come to experience it for yourself.

slave: whamo?

Master: That's right; but when you finally experience it for yourself it turns out to be nothing like how you imagined it! That is what I am talking about.

slave: Master, why didn't you just say so?

Master: I didn't say it, because sometimes something new is exactly as you imagined it, and that is the moment when your whole being begins to wonder if there is some part of you that has experienced this before... maybe even during a previous life.

slave: As far as I can remember, Star Trek never mentions previous lives.

Master: Ok ok ok. Mary Lou, so basically, compassion comes from enlightened beings. Or in other words, in order for a person to be truly compassionate towards another, I mean in order for a being to express total and real compassion, that being must first be in a state of no desire. And then, and ONLY when a person is in that state of no desire..... which by the way is also an ego less state... slave, have I done a video on the egoless state?

slave: Yes Master, but I taped over it before it got posted to youtube. I needed the space for an episode of Star Trek where captian Jain Way is incredibly hot and

Master: Anyway, my dear sweet Mary Lou Smith, you are once again imagining compassion all wrong. You are so wrong about what it is and what it is like that I think you should stop thinking that you have any idea whatsoever.

slave: Master, how do you know what Mary Lou is thinking?

Master: Please listen with your whole being Mary Lou. Let me help you with an example from your life. Several times a day, you tell yourself that you are totally and completely "in love" with your boyfriend as well as your husband. And that is sweet, but um, well, I don't believe you are really "in love" with either of them. But I do believe that you believe the story which you tell yourself several times a day. No, Mary Lou, don't argue with me; please just shut up and listen for a change.

slave: Master, I didn't hear her arguing. I didn't hear anything at all.

Master: So, Mary Lou, do you like it when either of them looks at any another woman who is more beautiful than you? Do you like when your husband or your most recent boyfriend stares at that woman who works in the supermarket, you know the one I am talking about: she has tits that look like they are fake yet they are probably real. She has a flat stomach and a petite yet perky arse and her hair... for fucks sake how is it fair that any woman should have hair like that? You can't compete with her physical beauty. And why exactly do feel the need to compete with her, anyway? Why do you need to compare yourself to her? And why do you want bad things to happen to her?

slave: Master, does the supermarket woman have a brother? Can you ask her for me?

Master: Yeah, so Mary Lou, you don't like the woman who works in the supermarket because you don't like it that your boyfriend can't help but stare at her. He stares at her and you try to talk to him but he can't hear you, he doesn't even know you are talking to him. OOOh my, that makes you so angry! But why do you feel such anger towards these men and this beautiful woman? I thought you loved your boyfriend as well as your husband? I thought you were in love with them? And your poor boyfriend, what crime has he committed? Maybe he even loves you, maybe he loves you and and he also just happens to be enjoying such a simple pleasure as looking at a beautiful woman who is not his girlfriend. Why does this make you so angry? Shouldn't you be pleased that your boyfriend is experiencing such great pleasure? And such an innocent pleasure at that, he is just looking at a woman who is far more beautiful than you. And why does it make you angry that he is not paying attention to you? Does that hurt your ego? I thought you loved him, why do you need him to pay attention to you? .. I could go on and on,

slave: and you probably will

Master: And either you get the point or you don't. You see Mary Lou, your personal experience of love is based entirely on your ego. Your experience of love is based on what you get out of it. Being in love, for you, means that you are the center of attention, that you are special and that you can tell yourself and others that you are loved and desirable and important and... all these things that you tell yourself, these are things that fulfill your desires and they fulfill your ego.

slave: Master, are you angry about me taping over your video so that I could watch Star Trek?

Master: Well Mary Lou, Compassion is not like that. It doesn't want or need anything, not from your husband, not from your boyfriend and not even anything to bolster your ego.

slave: Beloved Master, you have told her who compassion is not, but you have not told her who compassion is.

Master: Which, Mary Lou, brings us back to our main character, who is in a state of being which is completely free from desire. In this state of being, and only in this state, our main character is able to create and express compassion. And why only in that state? Because, as I have already explained, in any other state, the motivation for her actions would be based on her personal desires and ego. Yeah so back to our main character who we will call "compassion". If, for example, she is in a state which is completely free from desire and if, for example, she is looking at a human or an animal or a plant or an insect; she is very likely to view that human or animal or plant or insect with unconditional love.

slave: Insects?

Master: And, if she is in a total state of no desire, she is also likely to be filled with or to be the very embodiment of love. Love fills the vacuum created by the absence of desire. Or if you prefer it the other way around, desire destroys the love inside a being. Anyway, it is in this state of being, the being which is free from desire that

slave: But Master, surely you don't mean wasps and mosquitoes.

Master: Now I have forgotten what I was talking about.... Unconditional love is the state of existence when there is no desire whatsoever. And that is in contrast to that other place. You know, that "other place"; you have lived there your whole life, Mary Lou. If you were in the ego-less state of no-desire, you would have no choice but to be the embodiment of compassion in all of your actions. You would have no choice, because your actions would not be motivated by your desires but they would be motivated by real love.

slave: I just got two taps on grindr!

Master: And this, Mary Lou, completes my description of a compassionate buddha's back story.

slave: So are you ever going tell her what compassion is?

Master: Mary Lou Smith, compassion is the actions as well as the inactions of a being who is free from any desire whatsoever. Compassion is both the actions and inactions of a person whose being is filled with love.

slave: Master, you know I wouldn't erase your endless prattle for just any episode of Star Trek. It was one of the really good episodes. It was an episode with one of my favorite casts.

Master: How interesting slave, and have you ever noticed that her name is Captain Jain Way? Have you ever considered that she might be portraying the way of the Jain. She might even be scripted as a personification of one of the female Tirthankara who have been erased by modern history.

slave: Is that true?

Master: Maybe. And I should point out that when the ego disappears that love, bliss, and compassion takes its place. Slave, did I say that already?

slave: What Master? Are you talking to me? I wasn't listening.

Master: I remember a time, we can call it the first time, but you know, that I was fully consciously aware of being completely without any desire whatsoever - I mean the first time that I was in that state of being but also aware of it in a way such that I could consciously name it while I was experiencing it. In that moment of compassion, I had looked over at some Meher Baba disciples and I remember being impressed at how profoundly insane they were. In that ego less state, I had no choice, but to witness how profoundly insane they were. It actually surprised me to see what I was seeing. Because, moments before, when I was still in the normal ego state, they were just the kind of people who takes themselves very seriously and who also see themselves as superior to others. But when I looked at them again, while in the egoless state, they were profoundly profoundly insane.

slave: Master, do you want to do a talk about the ego-less state again? We could buy an extra memory card for this recorder, that way I won't have to tape over any Star Trek episodes.

Master: Now, I don't mean to single out Meher Baba disciples as being any more insane than any other population, it is just that Meher Baba disciples happened to be the people who were talking in front of me in that particular moment when I was without desire. But they could have been anybody, I mean, this was a very universal situation. What I am trying to say is, in that moment I didn't really see them as having any particular identity. Instead of seeing an identity, I just saw how fucked up they were.

slave: Master, do you remember what you were wearing?

Master: You know how books about god mention that god wants people to love him? Have you ever noticed how the god in books is insecure and needy? Have you ever noticed how he needs people to love him? And have you ever noticed that the god in those books always seems to have some very serious anger issues? Have you noticed the god in books is not very compassionate? Maybe the god in the books is not enlightened. Maybe the god in the books should become a buddha.

slave: Beloved Master, are you going to tell Mary Lou how to become a compassionate Buddha?

Master: No, slave, I am not.

slave: Why?

Master: Because she didn't ask, that is why. Mary Lou has only asked me what compassion is; I answered her question and then some.

slave: Master, may I tell her?

Master: Tell her what?

slave: Do you mind if I point her in the direction of becoming a compassionate buddha?

Master: Oh yes, slave. Please go right ahead and tell her. I would not miss this for anything!

slave: Um, Mary Lou, I have recently learned through the experience of my own meditation, that having a desire is the same as being opposed to "what is".

Master: What did you say? I wasn't listening.

slave: Master, I asked what you are making us for dinner.