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Do dogs go to heaven?

slave: This question is from Eric.

Master: Eric who?

slave: The only Eric you know who would send in a question.

Master: Oh, so what does Gene want this time?

slave: I am going to remind you that Gene prefers to be called Eric, and his question reads: "Do dogs go to heaven?"

Master: This is a very difficult question for me to answer, because I don't know what mogs are. Are mogs members of some particular ethnic group? Do they have another name that I might know?

slave: Yes, mogs have another name that you might know and that name is DOGS as in woof woof. I did not say mogs, I said dogs. 

Master: Ok in that case, his question will be very easy to answer. 

Gene, to answer your question, NO, dogs do not go to heaven. And I am saying this even though I know that dogs have a soul. I am saying this while fully aware that dogs are sentient, conscious beings. The reason that dogs do not go to heaven is because heaven is not a geographic location, so there is no possibility of a dog travelling to the location of heaven. So "going there", is out of the question. 

I am going to repeat myself, heaven is not a location, so "going there" is not a possibility for anyone. Going to heaven is not a possibility for dog-kind nor is going to heaven a possibility for human-kind. Oh, and this applies to all dogs, by the way, whether they be dead or alive. Just as it applies to all humans whether they be dead or alive.

slave: I wonder how deeply, Eric will regret sending in a question?

Master: In an attempt to be even more annoying, I am going to illustrate my answer with the help of the following eight exercises. For the first exercise I would like you to please go to 10 years in the future, experience it for 4 minutes and then return to now so that you may report back to me. 

slave: Your attempt at being even more annoying is successful.

Master: For the second exercise, please spend some time somewhere where you are not.

slave: That makes no sense.

Master: YES! That is my point exactly. Trying to be somewhere where you are not, makes no sense! But Gene, please do not let that stop you from attempting the second exercise. For the second exercise please spend some time where you are not, and then take a moment to explore your surroundings. Once you have done that, ask yourself the question: "Am I currently at a place I would describe as somewhere I am not, or am I actually still at the place which would best be described as  "here and now"?  

And once you do that, Gene, let me know how you got on with your attempt to escape the "here and now".

slave: Gene can't hear you. Damnit! now you have me doing it! Eric can't hear you right now. This is not a phone, he can't respond. He won't even know what you are saying until I post this in a few days.

Master: Yes slave, I understand that, but Gene will eventually view this video and I am asking him to reflect on his experience.

slave: And for Pete's sake, his name is Eric. Gene now goes by the name of Eric.

Master: I will now do the two aforementioned exercises myself. I will start with the one in which a person travels to the future. Hmm, Ok. Let's see. I am asking myself "Am I experiencing the future? Have I traveled to the future?" My answer is "Nope, I am NOT currently in the future, I am in the present moment".  

Ok. that was pretty simple. 

slave: Why is having you in the present moment so annoying? You were less annoying when you were in the future.

Master: Now I will try the next one: "Am I experiencing being over there?" My personal answer is: "Nope, I am not currently over there". And now I will try a variation of that exercise. "Am I experiencing being here?" My answer is: "Yes, such as it is". 

Now Gene, I don't mean to be insulting your intelligence with these exercises; I ask you to try them because they serve a purpose. These exercises remind us that the only place we exist in is "here and now". 

 And since the only place we can ever experience is "here and now", that means that If we are to experience heaven, our only opportunity to experience heaven is "here and now". And dogs are the same, they too are only able to experience "here and now"

slave: I was happier back in the past, when I was somewhere else.

Master: Now listen carefully, Gene, I am not saying that it is impossible for a dog person or a human person to experience heaven. What I am saying is that the only option a dog person or human person has for experiencing heaven is right here, and the only time they can experience heaven is right now.  So again, a dog person or a human person cannot "go to heaven", but that does not mean that they can't experience heaven. Remember that, because you will use that information later on.

slave: Do you want me to record that last bit for Eric, so that he has access to it later on?

Master: Why just the last bit? I thought you were recording all of this.

slave: Oh, you actually want me to record all of this?

Master: So Gene, If you sincerely tried the exercises, you might have noticed that your experience of the "here and now",  included TRYING to be over there, as well as TRYING to be in the future. I gotta say that again. Do you mind if I repeat myself?

slave: Are you asking me? Because I mind a lot.

Master:  Gene, while you were actually in the "here and now", your experience of the "here and now", might have included TRYING to be somewhere else. Your experience of the "here and now" might have included HOPING or WANTING or even PRETENDING to be somewhere else. The trying was happening while you were in the "here and now". The act of trying was part of your "here and now" experience. I want you to also remember this bit of information, because we are also going to make use of it later on. 

slave: Why are you giving me that look? 

Master:  I was looking at your hair line, and what I saw made me wonder if it were possible for me to talk to Gene about heaven without also talking about hell?  And yes, as a matter of fact, it is. But I am not going to let that stop me. Gene, hell is not a location. 

slave: Did you actually just say that my hair line reminds you of hell? Did you actually just say that?

Master: Interestingly, the dog person or human person who is most likely to regularly experience hell is also the dog person or human person who's experience of "here and now" includes a lot of trying to be somewhere else.

Conversely, the dog or human person who is most likely to experience heaven on a regular basis is the dog person or human person who is really happy and content to be "here and now". The dog person most likely to experience heaven in the present moment is the dog person who is totally present at "here and now"

One of the many ways in which dog persons and human persons create hell for themselves is by constantly TRYING or PRETENDING or even HOPING to be somewhere other than where they are. The trying is born out of a desire. When someone's mind is always hoping or longing to be somewhere other than where they are... they are cultivating many of the ingredients necessary for the experience of hell in the present moment.

And that kind of makes sense to me.The frustration of the endless effort wasted in spending one's whole life doing something which is impossible as well as incredibly stupid is likely to make any person miserable.

When a dog is longing for someone or for some place, that dog is likely to be experiencing hell. And conversely, IF at any given moment, that same dog person is with the being that the dog person wants to be with and IF that dog person is certain that the being in question is happy and safe, well then that particular dog person is much more likely to be experiencing heaven than hell. Oh, and remember, that science tells us that dog persons are emotional, sentient, and conscious creatures who experience feelings. I would think that that scientific information would  be very relevant to you, Gene, because you too are an emotional, sentient, and conscious being. 

slave: And so is Eric

Master: When a dog's thoughts are in the same place as their body, then that dog is much more likely to be experiencing heaven. But when a dog's mind is in one place while their body is in another, then that dog is much more likely to be experiencing hell. 

slave: I am pretty sure you said that already.

Master: So yeah, a dog can experience heaven and a dog can experience hell, but neither heaven nor hell is a location they can travel to. Both heaven and hell are experienced in the place that the dog person would call "here and now". So a dog person can't go to heaven, but a dog person can certainly experience heaven. Got it? Did you put all the pieces together?

slave: Beloved Master, may I say something?

Master: Uh oh, it is never good when you refer to me as Beloved Master. And it usually means double trouble when you ask permission to comment. But go ahead.

slave: I got really bored and stopped listening. Can you summarize the highlights for Eric and I?

Master:  I shall even number the concepts for you both, although I do not pretend that I will order the concepts in a logical fashion. 1. All dog persons are conscious beings, just like some human people are conscious beings. 2. Heaven is not a place but is a state of being. 3. The majority of dogs or human people are not capable of time travel nor of existing at two locations simultaneously. 4. Thus, If dog persons or human people are going to experience heaven then they must do it in the present moment and in their present location. 5. For over a year now, I have been gently reminding you to repair the wall of the shower, but as far as I can discern, you have done nothing. And finally 6. Gene, if your intention was to ask me what happens to a dog's soul once the dog's brain and body has died, then you did a shit job of forming your question. 

slave: Thank you Master. Your excellent summation has led me to another question. May I ask you now?

Master: Probably not. Things never go well for me when you use the phrase 'thank you Master". Whatever is coming, I know that in no way am I prepared to meet it. Go ahead slave, ask your question.

slave: Thank you Master. My question is: why did you torture us with the tedium of your endless response when you were able to sum it up in a few short sentences? 

Master:  That was an excellent question, my beloved slave, and I shall answer it for you when you have finished repairing the wall of the shower stall.

slave: Thank you dear beloved Master. 

Master: You are welcome, slave.

slave: Oh, and Master?

Master: Yes slave? 

slave: I am very sorry. It seems that I have made a significant mistake. I did that thing of seeing what I wanted to see instead of seeing what was actually on the computer screen in front of me. Eric actually did write, "Do MOGS go to heaven."

Master: I had suspected as much this whole time. But being the good-natured fellow that I am, I didn't want to say anything. You know, just in case Gene really did inquire about mogs and heaven. Anyway. Gene, my  answer is "yes, of course mogs go to heaven". Oh and Gene, I am a little surprised that you of all people would ask such a stupid question, since everyone knows that mogs go to heaven. 

slave: But Master, I am confused, I distinctly recall your statement that the question was difficult to answer, you also claimed to not even know what mogs are!

Master: Yeah, I was just messin with you both. I found it hilariously funny to pretend that a Master of my brilliance might not know what a mog is.